I didn’t even want to be a leader until I was in my 40s.
Until I about 4 years ago, I did not think of myself as a leader. Not at all.
It is commonly thought that the oldest sibling of a family tends to be a natural leader. Even though I am the oldest of 3 siblings, I never thought of myself as a leader when I was growing up. I was extremely independent but since I am an introvert I enjoyed spending a lot of time by myself. I had friends and I enjoyed spending time with them but I didn’t take charge and come up with plans for fun or mischief. Maybe I would bring up an idea and if there was consensus then we’d do that idea.
In high school and in college, I didn’t have any group projects that I can recall. I was responsible to get my own work done. I had no interest in leading anything. I didn’t want to be in charge of anyone but myself.
As a professional, my work was academic advising and so I spent most of my time working with individual students on their academic goals. I didn’t have or didn’t notice any opportunities to lead a team project. After my children were born, I switched to teaching classes part-time. Again, it was solitary work to prepare lessons, teach, and grade papers.
It wasn’t until I came to work at my current place of employment when I really saw opportunities to lead a team. But before I could lead a team, I needed to be on a team. Being an executive assistant to a vice president who traveled 80% of the time, I felt like I wasn’t really on a team. I worked alone. But because I was in the office with some of the teams that reported up to the VP, I saw an opportunity to join a team on a certain project. I asked the lead of the Data Fest planning team if the team needed any assistance with the planning. He gladly accepted my offer and I was on the team. I was in charge of administrative tasks and I was really happy to use my skills to help make Data Fest 2017 a success.
About the time that I started working at the company, the employee resource groups were launching. I attended an info session and eagerly joined the Women’s Employee Resource Group (ERG) — not just to be a member — but to be a contributing member by joining the Development Pillar. I actively volunteered to help organize events for the Women’s ERG. About 5 months later, the lead of the pillar announced that she had taken a job at another company and asked the team if anyone wanted to step up and lead the pillar. No one volunteered. Inside I felt drawn to volunteer but I was nervous. I emailed her as soon as the meeting was over and said that I am interested. She said that I would be a great leader and that she would recommend me to the Detroit lead. The lead agreed and I became the Detroit Women’s ERG Development Pillar Lead.
I was too nervous to just take over and run the pillar like the previous lead did. She was a CIO and had respect and clout. I was an executive assistant with no leadership experience. I knew that my nervousness and lack of self-confidence would be evident if I attempted to lead like she did. I decided that I needed to get to know each of the members that I would be leading before we had a regular team meeting. I knew that I am more relaxed when I am speaking to just one person. I like to ask questions and listen to what motivates the person that I am in a conversation with. I strive to find a win/win situation where the person’s motivations and talents match the tasks that need to be completed.
After meeting with each of the team members individually and asking them how they wanted to contribute and what kinds of events they wanted us to produce, I felt more confident that I would be seen as a true leader. I was right. I did feel more confident when we had our first team meeting. I knew each team member and they knew how much I cared about their opinions and how much I valued each of them as an individual. Our team went on to produce monthly lunch and links with speakers from different departments within the company who talked about personal development topics. These lunch and links were always well attended. And they achieved one of the big goals of the ERG — to connect women with each other for mutual support and encouragement!
I’ve gone on to lead other teams such as the Employee Engagement Development Task Force and I was one of three leaders to get a Toastmaster club chartered at our company.
There are many styles of leadership but the style of leadership that is consistent with my values and personal strengths is cooperative leadership. I love leading projects with a team of people who WANT to see the project succeed. I love getting input from team members on how we accomplish our goal.
