Use this 1 Strategy to Stop being a People Pleaser so that You Can Eliminate Resentment

Elissa Teal Watson
2 min readApr 15, 2022

People pleasing causes a lot of conscious or unconscious resentment.

People pleasers say “yes” when they really want to say “no”. Their personal boundaries are lax or non-existent. They are taken advantage of by others.

Their self-care practices don’t exist. They are destroying themselves because they put others’ needs or desires before their own.

I used to be a people pleaser but the pain of hitting rock bottom was a turning point for me. In my pain, I discovered the power of self-inquiry. I discovered my unconscious beliefs and learned how to change them.

I learned how to say “no” when I didn’t want to oblige someone’s request for my time, energy, or money.

It wasn’t easy to say “no”. The guilt that I felt that I was letting someone down was strong. But the relief that I felt when I said “no” was even stronger.

The most difficult “no” was when I told my father that I didn’t want to go to his church anymore. My desire to please him had been strong for a long time, even though it made me miserable. I honestly thought that our relationship would end when I told him but I hated going to his church. To my amazement, it didn’t destroy our relationship.

The path to move away from being a people pleaser is to become aware of times when you say “yes” but really want to say “no”. You will sense the resentment of those decisions.

Then start saying “no” to easy requests. You will build your “no” muscle and then you can move on to more difficult requests.

Your feelings of resentment will go down, your sense of personal power will go up, and you will have the time to take care of yourself first so that you can say “yes” when you really want to say “yes” to others’ requests.

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All my best to you!



Elissa Teal Watson

I write about mindset, emotional intelligence, self-care, productivity, habits, career, and relationship management.